#53: Say, that's it! You think of a wonderful thought!
packed with appreciation | read to the bottom for the source of the SL
Dahlings,
On December 4th, it will be 2 years since I started Backpack. Pressing send whenever a Backpack has been “packed” has been a complete joy to me.
Over the years, I have scribbled into the many journals “write more” over and over and over again. And I have. Moreover, I wanted to write for the sake of writing and detach my ego from its production. Initially, I did think about “growth” - how great it would be to have a “successful” newsletter - maybe even paid subscribers! However, that wasn’t what drove me.
More often than not, the idea of “growth” paralyzed my creativity. Instead, I challenged myself to show up and write something meaningful. Write something for me. That is how I have been able to show up for myself and you in these two years.
Thank you. Thank you for opening, reading, commenting, and sending me love notes about it. Thank you for being there for the evolution of the structure, content, and vulnerability. Thank you for still being here as I continue sharpening this work’s point of view. Thank you for supporting this work that allows me to just be myself. Grazie mille 🥹.
I also want to thank myself for doing it. For giving myself grace on the weeks that I couldn’t produce something worth sending, for just putting it out there when I needed to scream my feelings into the world. Thank me for getting to this point. I appreciate past me for showing up so I could arrive to this very moment.
This moment. This moment I am in is confidence. I am confident that I want to keep writing, being creative, trying new things, and sharing. And I got here - with absolutely no doubt - because of these 2 years of packing Backpacks for with you.
A toast 🥂 to you and me, B
“I am a hot, smart woman, with an ass that doesn’t quit” -Mindy Kaling
packing
Say “thank you” instead of “sorry” This advice was a smash hit in the very first Backpack. So it’s worth repeating. I use it every single day at work. Some quick examples:
Sorry, I know this is taking long/I am late —> “Thank you for your patience”
Sorry, don’t mean to bother with so many questions —> “Thank you for answering all my questions”
Body parts. My father has muscular dystrophy. His muscles, specifically in his legs, are continuously degrading as he tries to build them back. There is a lot of ablism in this world, and until you can’t move well, you don’t get it. I can book airbnbs or rent a place with stairs to the bedrooms and any type of shower. My father lets nothing stop him, but he has to consider all of these things. Wherever you are in your journey with your body - appreciate it.
Old things new appreciations. I am not the same person I was last year, let alone years ago. I’d invite you to challenge yourself to revisit old tastes or preferences you have told yourself you don’t like and try them again. Pick one thing and then ever so gently, try to understand it from a different perspective with the intent to appreciate it. For me, I have a new appreciation for radishes - I just need to put put a little olive oil and salt on them 🤷♀️.
Thank you notes. For the love of god, please understand the power of sending a “thank you”. You don’t even need to be like Joan Clever about it- just send a text - at minimum. First of all, it’s just f*cking nice to do. Two, whoever just did something nice will ❤️ it.
A classroom trick for your everyday life.1 If you are in a situation that you had to reprimand, correct, or just tough moment with anyone - immediately look out for positive actions afterwards, acknowledge them, and tell the person thank you for them. For every 1 tough moment, follow it up with 3 appreciations afterwards. It's a 1:3 ratio folks and it works.
They can be the simplest of things (thank you for listening, thank you for following up so quickly) or unrelated things (thank you for cleaning out the dishwasher, thank you for answering the phone). They just need to be things that are good and you need to tell them about it.
This will help repair that one tough moment. Yes, if you have kids - please run wild with this - but this works on adults too! (A hot take for another time: all things that work on kids work on adults, I am willing to fight anyone that challenges this). Again, lo and behold I use this at work. It really does help build trust!
front pocket
Thank you notes from Greer Chicago #blackownedbusiness. A card game for dinner parties and girl nights #femalefounded. A lovely read on the ever so wonderful Emma Thompson, “Whatever I do now, it has to serve the happiness of people,” she said. “It has to uplift. I think that’s my job.”
keep packed
Women’s access to healthcare. I still have a monthly contribution to Fund Texas Choice. And they are gonna need it since Abbot was re-elected. Faced with some of the strictest abortion requirements - let’s take care of our own, shall we? The end of the year is near, so if you haven’t given yet - great time to invest in abortion funds and get a tax right off.
unpacking
Faults, cracks, and misgivings. Stretch marks on my thighs since I was in 5th grade, impatience, so many greys, restlessness, people pleasing, how I am inconsistent when I send Backpacks. Although it pains me to host these things, when it’s all taken into consideration I know they give me character, they make me human. And I really love feeling my humanity, my imperfections. They make me uniquely qualified to write something like Backpack and connect with you.
Spinning up an appreciation like:
✨ SL today is from You can Fly, You can Fly from Disney’s Peter Pan
This might be the mother load of all tips. I will just assume you are appreciative and say you are welcome right now. YOU ARE WELCOME.